The call for submissions for this edition of Perspectives spoke to me as someone who has walked a non-traditional path into this field. Two years ago, I left running my own business to return to fraternity and sorority life. Yes, you read that right. I closed shop on a successful boutique and returned to campus. In settings with my peers, I often find myself labeled as a “rising, five-to-ten-year professional” that is five-to-ten years older than those in the room with me.Â
How did I end up here? There is a lot to dive into. First, I want to say, like many of you, my sorority experience in college was life-changing. It completely shifted the tectonic plates of my world and is foundational to who I am as a person. Every good thing I have, all the successes I have achieved, I can tie back to the moment I decided to participate in primary recruitment.
After graduation, I wanted to continue living my sorority experience and was fortunate to earn a spot as a traveling leadership consultant for my organization. Many of my fellow consultants went on to graduate programs in higher education, and I went on to become…a consultant. I enjoyed working with new individuals, new problems in new settings, and after earning my graduate degree, I advised small businesses in areas of marketing and profitability. I kept a pulse on student and sorority life; I advised my home chapter as a recruitment advisor and worked with the on-campus entrepreneur group. I spoke at many fraternal leadership events and volunteered with my organization and beyond.
At 28, I knew I needed a change, and the universe provided me with the opportunity to own a successful boutique in my community. I had always wanted to run a boutique and was passionate about Main Street businesses. Not going to lie, owning your own clothing store is as amazing as you think it would be. Through my business, I found a way to mentor college students through internships and employment, something that gave me great joy. Right as my store was facing the same challenges that many small businesses face today, I was given a major, unexpected, wonderful, life-altering surprise: I was pregnant.
Having kids was something my husband and I were ambivalent about, but here it was. Both of us, bitten by the entrepreneur bug, were now going to be parents and looking for the security we did not have. We had health insurance of the “well, you won’t die” kind of variety, and our income fluctuated with the seasons. A lot of things happened very quickly. There were some staff, personal, and logistical reasons that made sense to shut our boutique doors. I knew I would need to find a “real” job…but the right job found me.
As I sat in the ballroom of the Overman Student Center for the seventh year in a row, I found myself surrounded by swirling thoughts, problems, and excitements, all while advising sorority recruitment work week. While I was listening to my advisees talk about the upcoming recruitment week, their hopes, their nerves, whether their sisters were going to nail this chant or sound like an apathetic group of cheerleaders…I had a wave of peace crash over me. “This is where I am meant to be.” I just knew, in my bones, that this was my path forward. I told my chapter sisters, two twenty-year-olds, what was going on in my life. We cried, we laughed, we led the whole chapter in singing our rendition of “Lean on Me” ten more times before lunch—pure nirvana.
The program coordinator position for fraternity/sorority life at my institution had been open for several months. My now-director did not want to fill the position just to fill it; she wanted the right person. In my interview, I was faced with the same question I had when starting this piece: How do your experiences relate to this work? What insights can you bring? Complete transparency, I do not remember how I responded to those questions. At the time, I was 10 weeks pregnant, and my nausea was so bad that all I could think about was how to best sneak a Cheez-It into my mouth without people seeing. I would like to think I shared something like this…
Here are the top three principles I have learned and given to students – whether in my business or as an advisor:
You know more than you think you do.
You will be surprised at what you already know. Experiences, education, and relationships all have a way of teaching us things we do not “think” we know how to do. For instance, I never expected my undergraduate degree in broadcasting to lead to Facebook Lives, but there I was, in mid-2020, doing pandemic-style social media sales from my living room. Any unease, insecurity, or doubt that you have about your ability to do your job is normal, but often misplaced. You have come to this moment in your career for a reason; trust that your experiences and instincts will support you.
Do what you do best, outsource the rest.
While you know a lot more than you think you do, there are also things you are not going to be the best at. That is ok – find ways to outsource the rest. Like entrepreneurs, you may not have the funds to pay for another team member or fancy software. Learn to find partnerships and opportunities. You may be the default account owner of your Fraternity and Sorority Life (FSL) social media pages, but that does not mean you need to be cranking out TikToks. Find a student needing social media portfolio building opportunities, ask chapters to re-create a trend, and ask for help! Campus partners can assist with areas like prevention and wellness, event planning, and more. Build a team of people who allow you to let go of certain things and focus on what you excel at.
It is OK to let go.
Whew, this might be the hardest one for all of us. All of us – entrepreneurs, FSL pros, human beings – are afraid of failure. For something we have poured our hearts and souls into, whether that’s our business, institution, or organization, it can feel like a massive failure to move on or let go of something. Our culture places a lot of emphasis on sticking with something until the very end, and we, as proud members of our organizations, know the meaning of a life-long commitment.
Letting go of my business was just as hard as starting it, if not harder. What would people think of me? Would I be seen as a failure for giving up? As I sat there two years ago in the throes of work week, I was reminded of the 18-year-old Sydney who wondered how she would be judged for joining a sorority, and when she joined, would she be accepted for who she was, failures and all? My young chapter sisters’ support and encouragement that day reassured me that I was still making the right choice.
I learned these three “entrepreneurial” lessons long before I owned a business. I discovered it as a member of sorority life. I learned to trust myself. I learned to appreciate the strengths of others and work in a team. Returning to fraternity and sorority life has been a deeply meaningful homecoming for me. Whether you are just starting or have been here all along, know that you can have a homecoming back to your own foundational experience as a member. Trust that your lived experiences are their own unique form of expertise, and that they’re as valuable to students as your formal education.
About the Author
Sydney Anselmi, M.A., CSAEd, CSAEd–FSL, is the Program Coordinator for Fraternity & Sorority Life at Pittsburg State University (PSU), where she advises nine fraternal chapters and supports campus events and organizations. A two-time graduate of PSU with a background in communication, Sydney is also a Gallup-Certified Strengths Coach and co-owner of Creative124, a multimedia production company. Her professional and volunteer experience spans campus activities, entrepreneurship, and national sorority leadership, reflecting her commitment to empowering students and fostering inclusive fraternal communities.
